You're "caught!"
The other day while I was en route to a midwife appointment, I stopped at a gas station just by the highway... because, of course, I had to pee! :) Anyways, I like stopping occasionally at this gas station because I know they carry Taboo magazine. It's one of the few places I can get one!
So there I am, 41 weeks pregnant and with a biiiiiiiiiiiig belly, looking kind of sleepy and tired, buying some pregnancy friendly snacks and drinks, and... "Could I please have a Taboo?" Those people must think I'm either a) nutso with crazy pregnancy hormones or b) just plain nutso! :)
C and I like to look through the porn shoots and movie reviews, for us it is plain fun. I love porn in general, honestly.
So all this was running through my mind when I was reading a post on a mama type message board about a woman who "caught" her husband surfing porn online again. "Caught." She went on to say that she feels like he is cheating on her... that he is *not* looking at 39 year old fat mothers of two... and that besides all that "That is someone's daughter!"
It's really not worth my posting a reply to her. Most people's view of porn are so skewed by what society tells them to think that it's futile anyways. But this made me so mad. First of all, that she'd be treating her husband like a child.. "caught" reading porn? He is an adult, for heavens sakes. Secondly, that she doesn't even notice the biggest problem here, which is that she has already made her husband feel like he needs to *sneak* something he obviously enjoys. How can it possibly be good for a marriage to have all those secrets from each other? This is not to say that C and I don't masturbate alone. We both do. People need to, IMO! But we are honest about it with each other, we love each other enough to be honest about it, and there is absolutely no need to hide from each other.
Finally, she is pouting and stomping her foot that her husband doesn't find her... a self-described "fat, 39 year old mother of two," as attractive as whoever he is looking at online. Well, gosh honey... shouldn't you at least make an effort? I mean we cannot all look like Jenna Jameson, but it would be a pretty boring world if we did. I certainly don't expect C to run around drooling after me when I'm feeling like a pregnant beached whale and too tired to put any makeup on! (Though he always says I'm beautiful. Always. I love my baby!) But if I am feeling amorous, I will make an effort to look attractive and sexy for him, not sit around on my pregnant butt and whimper about it.
I *know* this post describes a much more "normal" relationship than my own. Which is part of what makes me so angry. Wouldn't it be a better world if, instead of "catching" your husband looking at porn, you said... "Hmmm, she is beautiful. What do you like about these photos? Can we do that together?" Wouldn't it foster more closeness in your relationship if you could share your sexual fantasies instead of beating each other up for having them?
It's sad to me, honestly, and no wonder so many relationships don't make it!
As for the whole... "That is someone's daughter" thing... oy, how silly can you get? Of course it's someone's daughter. And someone's son, with her, more than likely. And people have sex. Some people like having sex while others watch. SO WHAT? *sigh* Doesn't it get old trying to judge EVERYONE else in the universe???
(BTW... yes, I'm still pregnant. Now 41 wks and 2 days along. Send me some "come on out, baby" vibes! :)
