Updates...

Well hey! Yeps, I am still here, and still me, although embroiled in a mess of mommyisms. Being a mama is the best thing ever. But I am still me.. C reminded me last night by fucking me silly on the bathroom sink. *sigh* Oh, yeah! Me! :)

I am going to start a new blog for discussions of me and my baby, for those of you who are interested in such... I don't think it's appropriate to talk about a baby here. So that blog will, well, probably be R-rated because like I said... I am still me... but there won't be any porn on it. URL to follow ASAP.

I'm also in the process of moving this blog. I am not loving Blogger's new idea of forcing us to use our gmail accounts to log in. :( I should've moved it a long time ago but would love it if anyone knows of a nifty way to EXPORT my 196 posts which I would like to take with me! Any thoughts, please let me know.

My baby.... :)

Hey everyone! I am sorry it has been so long, but you know, I have had my hands *babyfull!* The baby was born here at home on December 30th. She weighed 9lbs and 4 oz, and needless to say... I and my cootchie are still recovering! My body is so different now I'm a bit freaked out about it, to be honest, though I suppose I should've expected it. But mostly I'm just "babymooning," nursing my baby, cuddling, all that good stuff. She is gorgeous. Amazing. Miraculous. Thanks to those of you who sent me your good wishes!!!! :)

You're "caught!"

The other day while I was en route to a midwife appointment, I stopped at a gas station just by the highway... because, of course, I had to pee! :) Anyways, I like stopping occasionally at this gas station because I know they carry Taboo magazine. It's one of the few places I can get one!

So there I am, 41 weeks pregnant and with a biiiiiiiiiiiig belly, looking kind of sleepy and tired, buying some pregnancy friendly snacks and drinks, and... "Could I please have a Taboo?" Those people must think I'm either a) nutso with crazy pregnancy hormones or b) just plain nutso! :)

C and I like to look through the porn shoots and movie reviews, for us it is plain fun. I love porn in general, honestly.

So all this was running through my mind when I was reading a post on a mama type message board about a woman who "caught" her husband surfing porn online again. "Caught." She went on to say that she feels like he is cheating on her... that he is *not* looking at 39 year old fat mothers of two... and that besides all that "That is someone's daughter!"

It's really not worth my posting a reply to her. Most people's view of porn are so skewed by what society tells them to think that it's futile anyways. But this made me so mad. First of all, that she'd be treating her husband like a child.. "caught" reading porn? He is an adult, for heavens sakes. Secondly, that she doesn't even notice the biggest problem here, which is that she has already made her husband feel like he needs to *sneak* something he obviously enjoys. How can it possibly be good for a marriage to have all those secrets from each other? This is not to say that C and I don't masturbate alone. We both do. People need to, IMO! But we are honest about it with each other, we love each other enough to be honest about it, and there is absolutely no need to hide from each other.

Finally, she is pouting and stomping her foot that her husband doesn't find her... a self-described "fat, 39 year old mother of two," as attractive as whoever he is looking at online. Well, gosh honey... shouldn't you at least make an effort? I mean we cannot all look like Jenna Jameson, but it would be a pretty boring world if we did. I certainly don't expect C to run around drooling after me when I'm feeling like a pregnant beached whale and too tired to put any makeup on! (Though he always says I'm beautiful. Always. I love my baby!) But if I am feeling amorous, I will make an effort to look attractive and sexy for him, not sit around on my pregnant butt and whimper about it.

I *know* this post describes a much more "normal" relationship than my own. Which is part of what makes me so angry. Wouldn't it be a better world if, instead of "catching" your husband looking at porn, you said... "Hmmm, she is beautiful. What do you like about these photos? Can we do that together?" Wouldn't it foster more closeness in your relationship if you could share your sexual fantasies instead of beating each other up for having them?

It's sad to me, honestly, and no wonder so many relationships don't make it!

As for the whole... "That is someone's daughter" thing... oy, how silly can you get? Of course it's someone's daughter. And someone's son, with her, more than likely. And people have sex. Some people like having sex while others watch. SO WHAT? *sigh* Doesn't it get old trying to judge EVERYONE else in the universe???

(BTW... yes, I'm still pregnant. Now 41 wks and 2 days along. Send me some "come on out, baby" vibes! :)

December belly...

For those of you wondering...

NO, I have not had the baby yet! LOL :) Our guess date (hypothetical "due" date) is Dec. 15. But she could come anytime. Babies do not pay any attention to our calendars!

Anyways, here are some pics of my 40wk pregnant belly, taken last night. I'll have more photos up in the members area hopefully tomorrow... my back hurts! But I know they turned out well as C was taking his clothes off while shooting. That is always a good sign :)







My little Santa outfit didn't *quite* fit, but still... fun fun :)

Hope you're having a wonderful ho ho ho holiday season!!!!!

Fully informed consent...

Apparently, this is what it's coming to....

Busy, busy, baby building...

Hey guys, I am sorry for so long between posts! I am fine, all is well, baby is fine in my belly still and I do really have a big belly now!!!! I will try to get C to take some updated pics tonight... :)

Between baby stuff, holiday stuff, remodel stuff, etc... I have been so busy! Not to mention just tired all the time. Given that I will probably just get more tired once this lil' one decides to arrive, I am going to officially take some time off from the website. Which doesn't mean I necessarily won't post anything, just... don't expect it!

There are a few of you who've been so patient with me the past few months, my members whom I love and adore! I would like to offer you an extra month free now and an extra month free whenever I start posting regularly again to make up for any inconvenience. Unfortunately my billing company doesn't give me an easy way to do this... (nothing is perfect, is it?) So if you are a member right now, or your membership expired in November, you can email me, let me know, and I'll take care of it for you! (email: curvygirldc(at)yahoo.com)

*smoooooooch* hopefully I'll have a few shots for you after this weekend! We did take a few of me barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen... LOL! :)

I am officially a dork...

Because I started laughing out loud and clapping my hands with excitement and glee as MSNBC reported Donald Rumsfeld's resignation. Yeps. Definitely a dork. (I mean that in the nicest and most self-affectionate way possible!!!! LOL!)

I love Susie Bright's summation of election day. What a day, what a day! And yes, I was calling my friends in Virginia and telling them... "GO VOTE!" :)

BTW, I had a big Cardin sign on my front lawn right next to a smaller O'Malley sign. The O'Malley sign was stolen. TWICE. The Ben Cardin sign, either the night before the election or the morning of, someone took after with a sledgehammer or similar blunt object. Now *that* is good sportsmanship!

Fluffy bun in my oven...

Well, this series of photos was taken on October 13... so that is two weeks ago and already the belly is much bigger!!! I am 34 weeks today which means I have six more to go, in theory... we'll see!

I suppose it would be logical to assume I've become so baby-obsessed that I've forgotten all about my poor lil' sex site and horny viewers. Not so!!!! Actually what is keeping me away from the keyboard is our still-in-progress remodel. Man, remodelling, I know we all have horror stories about it! (I didn't used to, but now I do! LOL) Anyways, I've had family and workers here EVERY single day. They left early today or I wouldn't be typing this now!

OK, is it just me, or are the Bushies really grasping at straws making such a big fuss over this John Kerry thing? I mean... who CARES? They are trying to distract everyone from bad economic indicators, bad news from Iraq, and Bush's general badness, IMO. I am looking forward to this election! :)

Sorry, that was random, but I have CNN on in the background and cannot believe how much time they are devoting to this stupidity!

Anyways... between remodelling and being just generally pregnant and sleepy and stuff, I am not feeling so creative. But I really *want* to take some creative, fun, pregnant pics. So I'd love to hear some ideas and I'm requesting them! So let me know what you think :)

Anti-porn again...

Well, I must've done something right, as it seems I've pissed someone off. Hehe :)

When I posted my most recent anti-porn post, I also posted a comment to the blog of the woman who believes it is her life's work to save other women from... yanno, themselves. I knew she wouldn't post the comment in her blog. Heaven forbid anyone entertain the idea that it is not only possible, but obvious, that many many intelligent, empowered women are now involved in the porn industry. Like Susie Bright. Or Annie Sprinkles. Violet Blue. Me! :) Well anyways, there are more than I can even mention here, women whom I respect and am so honored to be able to include myself in one of their numbers, even if I'm just a tiny little dot in a great big pond.

So, apparently this person came and checked out my blog here; I am not sure how, I don't recall having left my URL. Perhaps she looked up my IP address and cyberstalked me? I am not sure. Then went on over to my BDSM Blog, where, as my readers know, I write about much more intense BDSM fantasy type things. So, she left me a comment there. Which I suppose she thought I wouldn't post at all... and as a comment, I won't. But I will post it here, for your reading/viewing pleasure, with my responses to her. Her letter is in italics.

Who *hasn't* fantasized about being raped, sexually molested, tortured, or having their body mutilated?

Well, lot's of people, actually.

Wow, thanks for the newsflash.

Maybe if you weren't “chubby” you'd have better self-esteem and wouldn't take pleasure in being treated like shit. Nor would you encourage violence against women.

I am not sure how my weight is even relevant to the conversation, aside from an opportunity for a petty, small person to make a petty, small comment in an effort to make me feel bad about myself. Isn't that silly? Why would I feel badly because she can't think of something more intelligent to say than a snark at my weight?

As for wanting to be treated like shit... well, in a fantasy context, sometimes... sure. It's fun to enter a different reality where I can crawl and beg and be completely exposed and open and vulnerable.

In reality I'm a happily married woman who is spoiled rotten by an adorable, sexy husband, and is 32 weeks pregnant with a beautiful little girl. Do we do BDSM fantasy play? Yes, as part of cherishing each other. Is that outside your realm of understanding? Becuase that is ok with me. I didn't ask you to understand.

BTW, where or how have I EVER condoned or encouraged violence against women? There are few people in the universe you'd find more opposed to violence against women. Consensual BDSM is not violence against women. Anyone touching a woman in any way whatsoever without her consent, is violence against women and in my eyes, illegal and should be punished.

I know what you're thinking, but I'm not anti-sex or against all porn, just the abusive, violent kind, which seems to be on it’s way to being made illegal.

Lovely... so basically you support the government becoming more, not less, involved in our sex lives. Why not just move to a communist country and be done with it? Myself, I prefer freedom to choose what I will and will not do, and I don't need the government to tell me how to have sex. The problem here is that people who practice BDSM do not want or desire your "help" in determining what forms of sex or porn are abusive or violent. They are adults and are capable of making this decision for themselves.

And actually it is not the sexual repressed people who condemn S&M, but rather it is the sexually repressed who create it. Rape fantasies are even rooted in sexual repression.

OK. So how is it beneficial to repress those fantasies further??? When there are ways to express them safely and sanely?

Do some research, such as on religion and vows of celibacy. It’s not possible to suppress the human sex drive, it’s the most powerful biological urge, and trying to do so has some hefty consequences.

I agree.

Pain replacing pleasure being one of them. There needs to be a release, and when denied, other sensations, like pain, serve as a replacement.

Hahahahahahaha... I love the implication that I turned into a submissive because I wasn't HAVING ENOUGH SEX!!! That is hilarious. :) Actually, I was getting plenty at the time. It goes so much deeper than that. I laugh at people who tell me that BDSM is not about sex; for me, it is. But sexuality runs so deeply through the core of my being that considering it superficial truly is laughable.

Experiencing them creates a high or euphoria when they normally shouldn’t, and it’s not natural. Now you see that I’m actually more pro-sex than you because I think that sexual pleasure is fine the way it is and doesn’t need to be channeled else where unnaturally. As sexually liberated as you people think you are, you’re not. You’re in modern day biblical times right up there with Catholic priests.

Ummmm... ok, that is not very logical, but whatever floats your boat. Catholic priests??? LOL! BTW endorphins are wonderful, but if it were only about endorphins, I could go for a jog and get the same experience. I'm sorry your understanding of these experiences are so shallow.

It’s not in me to talk a lot of shit anonymously. Have a good one! You're a lost cause.

Ah, the witty, parting and oh so petty shot.

Yes, this makes you seem truly intelligent and thoughtful. Going from "you're chubby" to "you're a lost cause." Wow. Thanks!!!! :)

Now see if you can understand this. If you don't like BDSM or porn, that is your right. If you want to tell people why, that is entirely your right. But if you want to control the way other people have sex, you've got issues. It's really none of your business.

Now of course in some ways I make my sex life the business of others who are welcome to comment... but control? I'm sorry, no. You also have the option to simply not read, or partake of, anything which you find offensive. There are plenty of things in the universe I find offensive or don't enjoy, and I don't look at those things. That is what freedom is all about.

I will not, however, prohibit or support any type of prohibition on any form of consensual sex. To do so takes choices away from people, implies that they need you (or the government) to guide them in their sex lives, and leads to a level of government intervention in private affairs which I find completely abhorrent and unacceptable.

As for the porn industry as a whole, I'm enjoying being part of changing it from within in whatever small way I can. I love being one of the many, many web women out there who are empowered and in control of their sexuality, and I suppose that at the very least, if we are pissing off people like this one, maybe we're somehow stretching their brains a tiny, tiny bit. We have to start somewhere!

So, Tamara....

Just how pregnant are you?

31 weeks... :)