Hi Tamara,
I have been married for three years and half to my lovely wife and my fantasy to have threesome ( two gals and a guy) the problem is my wife not interesting to have threesome with me and gal so the question is how can I talk her out of this to make it happen?
Well, you're starting this out on the wrong premise. Just like the column I wrote about the man wanting to talk his woman into anal sex. You are never going to talk someone into something sexual, and if you do manage to do so, it won't turn out well. If you convince someone to do something that they really don't want to do, you're just creating problems for your relationship down the road, if not immediately.
If, on the other hand, you want to take care of this relationship and you love your wife.... start thinking about smaller ways to expand your sexual horizons together. Bringing another person in is a HUGE big deal.
So, start small. Very small. Always small. And be ready to back off if at
anytime your wife seems uncomfortable or upset... pushing boundaries gently to
enable her to enjoy more is not an easy task and requires patience on your
part.
It's hard for me to tell you where to start when I don't know very much about you... but does she masturbate? That is a good starting point. If she doesn't, she should, and if she does, she can use some toys to enhance it. You might try purchasing a hitachi magic wand. I really believe that every woman should have one; it gives us ultimate control over our orgasms, and once we have that we're better able to branch out sexually. At least, that is what I believe and what my own experience has been.
So start with some toys. The hitachi first. With the hitachi, you should just give it to her and leave her alone... let *her* call how to use it, when to use it, etc. Don't consider it a participatory experience, at least not at first.
Then try something else... maybe a vibrator you can use together. Maybe watch some porn movies together. (Check out blowfish.com for some recommendations for movies.) Talk about your fantasies. Allow *her* to discuss her own fantasies as well, and make sure you are non-judgemental and receptive.
If all of this goes well, you might very gently start talking about...
maybe hiring an escort to be your toy for an evening. One way to make her more
receptive to this idea is to suggest that you won't participate at all... just
WATCH her with the woman. That will make her feel less threatened, and less
worried or insecure. A lot of women are going to feel like they are not enough
for you, which is why you want someone else... you need to make her feel 100%
safe and secure that that is NOT the case. Talk to her gently about how hot it
would be to see her with a woman.
Hiring an escort also gives it context; your wife will know this escort is leaving after the session, she is not staying around or trying to steal you away or interested in a relationship or anything like that.
IF and only if you have a session where she plays with another woman and comes out of it smiling and happy... THEN you can slowly pursue your idea of a threesome... with your fantasy of two women sucking your cock at the same time. Hehe!
Unfortunately there ARE NO SHORTCUTS to this kind of thing. The process I'm outlining here would take probably a series of months, not minutes. For the sake of your marriage, I believe it is 100% worth it! Incidentally if at anytime your wife freaks out about this... BACK OFF and leave it alone! It is not worth losing your marriage over, is it?
Tamara
